Destroying Your Child’s Heart – One FB Picture At A Time

In Uncategorized on 8 January 2014 at 11:34 am



Originally posted on :

I wrote recently about the Private Parent and shared a few things I do in an effort to build a solid, if somewhat hidden, foundation in the lives of my children.

A heartbreaking situation between an acquaintance and her teen son prompted those thoughts several months ago.

Intense conviction flooded my heart and mind while we shuffled awkwardly and flushed red with him as she ranted and railed in a fit of maternal frustration and helplessness.  His eyes filled with tears and his voice cracked in an attempt to maintain some kind of composure and dignity while his mother stripped him naked and flogged him with her words.

In the middle of my kitchen.

In front of our whole family.

In that moment I was overwhelmed with a burning desire to Never Ever Ever be the one who shamed my child in public again.

Along with this desire, to privately parent…

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Go Back, We F*cked Errrything Up.

In Autism, Fuckwittery, Government on 24 September 2013 at 9:48 am

werefuckedfrreal[First, I'm using the old blog today instead of my webpage... appropriately because I need to 'go back because I fucked everything up'. (Though that is not what this post is about.) Just explaining why I am here.  I updated the WordPress software and now nothing works... I am getting php errors... etc...

I shouldn't even be here. I have three weeks of school stuff to turn in this week, I swore to stay off Facebook for a couple weeks, yet I needed a phone number and then I had to check my mom's schedule... and then for class this morning I actually had to get on. So... that brings me here, because a couple posts in my news feed hit home to some of the discussions I have been having this week on 'autism' and it's origins and definitions.]

Let me start by cutting to the chase. Autism is not one thing. Autism is the manifestation of body damage.  There is no one thing that should be called “Autism”.  Brain damage? Autism. Mitochondrial disorder? Autism. Genetic mutations and deletions? Autism. Heavy metal toxicity? Autism. Sit back and ponder why maybe all our kids are so different?  We hear “If you’ve met one kid with autism, you’ve met one kid with autism!” “It’s a spectrum!” “All these kids are different!”
I’ve often said that ‘autism’ looks different by age and exposures. That autism is changing and evolving.

Society has changed so much in the last 50-100 years.  Chemicals that never existed before are suddenly here. We introduced these things into the world without doing any long term studies. Well… the studies are being done. On a mass scale. To all of us. And we’re fucked.

One thing I read this morning is about the CDC f*cking up and around with Agent Orange claims.  One particular passage caught my eye as I was skimming:

“After the date of the congressional hearing with Admiral Zumwalt, Coleen Boyle was listed as part of a study that looked at the prevalence of Viet Nam veterans who had children with spina bifida called “The Embryo Study”.  The study showed that those men who had reported a higher exposure to Agent Orange had a higher than normal likelihood of fathering children with spina bifida.”

It caught my eye for many reasons –like the article points out, Coleen is one of the useless $%*&@ dicking around our children on the autism issue today. (My words of course ;) ) But… I’ve been taking informal polls on this issue for a while now.  Those of us with autistic kids seem to have a disproportionate number of fathers who served in Vietnam or were in the area at the time. Toxin exposure can alter DNA

Not only that, but sometimes I forget that my son has Spina Bifida.  He and I both have Chiari Malformations where our brains are so freaking large they push out of our skulls.  ;)  Yeah it’s like that!  Thankfully, both of these conditions for him are mild. At least I think the Chiari is mild. The symptoms can overlap with… wait for it… AUTISM!  I spoke to a Chiari specialist (who is becoming an Autism/Chiari specialist).  He told me that while there are no official numbers, Chiari IS HIGHER IN THE AUTISM POPULATION vs. the general population. I wonder if it’s higher in the military veteran/family population.  Because that is my experience as well.  (And side note while I am at it, the number of moms who got the mercury laden versions of the Rhogam shot is MUCH higher in autism populations as well.)
My son has Chiari, Scoliosis, and Spina bifinda.  Sound like a great neural tube experience to you? Nah, me neither. (You should google and think about this along with the ideas that some people need folinic acid form, not folic.  All the folic acid I got while pregnant was BARELY enough because my body didn’t use it right. Google that. Google MTHFR)

I’m sure I’ve told the story of when I was working at Walter Reed, back when they were studying the illnesses of the veterans of the first Gulf War.  The student barracks were also the medical hold and visitor barracks, etc.  I was talking with one of the guys one afternoon and he was telling me that suddenly the hospital can’t find his records –he was about to leave and wanted a copy of everything to take with him.  They told him he wasn’t seen there, that there was no record of him ever being there. I laughed my 19 year old naive laugh… “I did your x-rays last week, here… let me pull you up.” I started typing away at the computer, logging into the awesome hospital software that they had (amazing shit for 1995), hitting the keys… searching… coming up empty. He was gone. Erased.  I later went to the file room to pull his films. Gone from the shelves. I think that was the day I learned our government is full of shit. A lesson I wish I had moved to the top of the list before I decided to vaccinate my son. (Ah, but see back then, I had the “Gov’t” and “medicine” as two separate entities in my head.)
Read here that estimates say 50% of records from that time are missing.
Google ‘Gulf War Walter Reed Missing Records’ and start sifting through the near 5 million hits.

So, not only did my child have a Vietnam vet Grandpa –he had two parents who were also in the Army. Hyper vaccinated. With genetic issues that are very common in families with an autistic child on that generation. My child was fucked. He didn’t have a chance once vaccines were injected into his body… with his altered DNA and messed up metabolic pathways and toxic load handed down by his mother. It was the perfect storm.

I still remember being smart.
Being able to read something quickly, comprehend, synthesize, and apply.
After so many vaccines… so many
And lost records that resulted in a second round of vaccines for me
Let’s not forget the times I volunteered to be injected with shit at WRAIR to get out of work early.  –they said it was allergy testing. Maybe it was. Maybe.
After all the mercury fillings…
the film developing chemicals.
The x-rays…
I struggle.
I’ve paid almost $400 in fines this year because I don’t remember to inspect and register my car.
I broke my new lawnmower in May when I got it. I’m going to call them soon to get it fixed. Soon.
My car needs repairs. I’m going to call the mechanic tomorrow to get it in. Tomorrow.
I’ve been going to order DNA tests for all of us to confirm my MTHFR suspicions for over a year.
My latex allergy reached epi-pen proportions 18 months ago. I finally called my doctor last month about that.
It’s not laziness. I can’t prioritize. I forget. Some days I just can’t handle the effort needed to make a phone call.
I read books 10 times and still don’t know what I’ve read…

–This damage is generational. It’s getting progressively worse. My parents generation did OK for the most part. My generation I see struggling.  Adult ADHD, Epilepsy. Tourettes.
I see a generation of Millennials who aren’t doing anything.  They didn’t go to college, a ton of them don’t drive. Some don’t work for no good reason…  Most of these kids were the first to get the harmful Hep B vaccine at birth, they’re the first offspring of humans brought up on processed foods, they ate GMOs in plentiful amounts. But I see that generation as the “in betweeners” because not all of them got the Hep B and most did not get the amount of vaccines that kids get now.
But MY KIDS? Those born from the very late 80 onward… They get it all.  Altered DNA, Parental toxic load. GMO/Processed food extravaganza. A dose of Hep B vaccine with 36 more vaccines by age 18 months.

From personal experience, I am trying to word this observation as to not name names or offend, but… I saw two generations above me work all their lives without issue. I saw one generation above above me go a good 30-35 years before falling apart.  I put in a good 15 years before life unraveled for me. I know 20-somethings who held jobs for 5 years before their brains and bodies just couldn’t go back. My son will never work a day in his life.

I can’t imagine what their offspring looks like. What are we going to have 50 years from now? When I am 88 years old –who will be taking care of all the ill? And Elderly? and Disabled? When there are no healthy people left. No viable offspring.

Vaccines don’t cause autism. Vaccines are one cause of systemic damage that causes the body to behave in patterns and ways that we identify as autism.
Petro chemicals and how they are processed into our plastics don’t cause autism.  They are one cause of systemic damage that causes the body to behave in patterns and ways that we identify as autism.
GMO’s don’t cause autism. GMO’s are one cause of systemic damage that causes the body to behave in patterns and ways that we identify as autism.
Genetic disorders of mutation and deletion don’t cause autism. They are one cause of systemic damage that causes the body to behave in patterns and ways that we identify as autism.

I saw this the other day, “Genetic condition may be mistaken for autism…” posted it on Facebook with the comment, “Yes, but autism is not it’s own thing. It is a collection of symptoms. So if kids with 22q11.2 deletion syndrome meet the dx criteria for autism… they have autism.” Right? I have a cousin who had a different deletion syndrome. When I first saw him, I thought he was autistic because of the stereotypical behaviors one might see in autism.

We will never be able to scientifically prove ONE cause by today’s standards. Never. But we need to stop this game of semantics and realize that way too many human offspring are being born with developmental malformation and genetic predispositions that need only the addition of an environmental trigger.  And so much in our environment has changed to cause these problems.
Our species is on it’s way out, I can’t say it loudly or often enough.  If you are ok with that… Then keep on this path.  Buy 5 soft drinks a day in plastic bottles.  Eat poorly, the GMO’s and processed foods and spend all your time sick and all your money on medicine that is shortening your life. Get your vaccines instead of just staying healthy and eating right. Enjoy all your electronic MUST HAVES –that not only pollute the environment by means of coal fired plants but with electro-smog as well. We are electrical creatures.  This IS affecting us. Use up all the oil. Bathe in the radioactive fall out.

To go back 50 years, we need to go back 50 years. We need to completely change our ways of life.

I was reading an article a month or so ago about Gen X vs. Millennials… I read a couple, so maybe in my head they are bleeding together. It had some good points. But one thing bothered me. The author basically said that we Gen X’ers need to put down our kitting and home soap making and canning and go out and lead the world. No statement in recent history brought on such feelings of ambivalence.  Part of me wants that very much… to go out there and shake you all by the shoulders and get you to listen.  Part of me thinks the world and species is too far gone.  I need to knit and garden and make my own soap… and teach my kids the basic simple lifestyle and survival skills that I think they are going to need in a disastrous future that is more near than you think.  Our civilization is collapsing.  Do I waste my time trying to convince you too?

Are we OK with damage control and trying to make sure our kids will lead happy and healthy lives?  I very much want to have a conversation with my 9 year someday where I beg him to not have children.  Because his life will likely be OK on this planet.  But I don’t think the lives of my Grandchildren would be. Or is there more we can do.  Are there enough of us seeing the iceberg in time to steer away the ship?

‘Autism’ is the sum of all the parts.
Society is collapsing.
And I have three weeks of javascript homework to go finish*.
YOUR HOMEWORK? Start here. Watch this. –Go pee first so you don’t piss your pants from fear. It’s the documentary “The Disappearing male, which I can’t share often enough.

Read this too, look at the photos. Think of Autism while you do. It’s a five part series on Napalm and Vietnam. To me, the photos of the affected kids… a lot of them have similar postures of  “autistic” kids. Also, read about the two daughters with Chiari.

*My schooling is funded by VRAP. A program for 1. Unemployed 2. Veterans 3. Aged 35-60 4. Who didn’t get GI Bill benefits for whatever reason (my paperwork got messed up, all that injury for no benefit, *hmpf*) Seems like a narrow group of people… but, over 90,000 got the grant. So ask yourself why.

I Cry Because Others Are Stupid… Autism Hearings Today

In Action, Autism, Government on 29 November 2012 at 8:19 am

[Quickly let me say, I am blogging here today because I still hate my website.  It needs so much work.  I hate it. Please anyone with WordPress on a server who knows what they are doing hit me up.

Second, because at 2 p.m. today for the first time in really too long a time, there will be Autism hearing in front of the Congressional Oversight and Reform committee.  I keep hearing it will be on C-Span 3, but not confirmed so this link is a back up for that:  Streaming here now: Other link not working
Now, down to business:

There was a time when I would get excited over new developments in the Autism community.  A new study supporting a vaccine link... or a new study PROVING that there are MEDICAL and Metabolic underpinnings to autism... Oh! I would get so excited!! I would say, "I am one day closer to my "VINDICATED" tattoo!!  But after a while that excitement turned to apathy.  The mainstream media ignores such things.  Instead they continue to promote this idea that "that Doctor who said vaccines cause autism lost his license because he lied" (if you still believe that you are an ignorant fuck) and that autism is all about quirky kids who are great at math and can shoot baskets.  --And if you still believe that, go fuck yourself.

So these hearings are today.  I suppose I will watch.  I know there are some smart peeps testifying and they will say great things, but I am not excited.  In fact I find myself pretty pissed off this morning.  We did this 10 years ago.  We did this 12 years ago.  The only thing that has changed is that MORE kids are being diagnosed with autism.  There is an OBVIOUS environmental factor and NO ONE SEEMS TO GIVE A FLYING FUCKITY MOTHER FUCK.


And I see nothing coming out of today's hearings.  Nope. Nothing.

A friend of mine posted this video this morning along with some powerful words:

She said, in part: “”628,320. SMDH

4,620 days ago today, I testified before the Congressional Committee on Oversight & Government Reform. I was concerned that the CDC was reporting 1 in 500 children had autism and the numbers were actually higher, closer to 1
in 100. I was concerned that we had an urgent public health crisis on our hands. [snip]

Turns out, as parents, we were right.  [snip]

That’s 628,320 children that have been, or will be, diagnosed with autism since that morning of April 6, 2000 in this country alone.
That’s more than the populations of Boston, Denver, Milwaukee, Washington, DC, Sacramento or even the Atlanta, where the CDC is located.

Isn’t that enough to go ahead and declare autism an urgent public health crisis then address it as such?  [snip]

I’m still mad as hell and we don’t have time to go round and round and round.” –Friend I won’t cite because she probably rather people don’t know she knows me ;)

Not a damn thing has changed.  Our youngest generation is the sacrifice for our modern lifestyle and greed. And our entire species will follow.  And our government does nothing.  I really do not understand how they don’t see this as national fucking emergency. How it is not seen as the beginning of the end of our species. How this is not important. Are they that fucking stupid???

I found a few tears dripping out of my eyes this morning after reading my friends words and watching that video.  I thought to myself, “Really?  Why are you crying??” I thought about it and that is what I realized.  It boiled down to the fact that there are so many stupid fucking sheep out there. And that makes me sad.

I will be back with more after the hearings today… and that is a threat and a promise.  I am not fucking around.


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